This was imported from my old
BlogDrive blog posts.
Top 5 songs for the week:
1. Misoji Misaki – by Hiromi Konno
2. Lost Reason – by Abingdon Boys School
3. My Heart Draws a Dream – by L’arc~en~Ciel
4. Teenagers – by My Chemical Romance
5. Raison d’etre – by Nightmare
Hah… well, it’s been about more or less four years since I did this thing. I was in high school then. I picked up a newspaper and start making my own commentaries about it. So now I’m getting the itch to do it again.
I’m kinda rusty here (it’s been 4 years since I did this), so if you find something offensive, skip it. My tongue’s quite caustic when it comes to these.
Issue: The Philippine Star – August 9 2007
Used pages: The Main Broadsheet
FLOODS STRAND THOUSANDS
Well, what we could say about this? Either Philippines has drainage systems that REALLY (135.27 times) sucks, or it’s just a real big deluge from the heavens. The tropical storm even has a very ridiculous name: DODONG. I either do not know what’s running into those PAGASA heads’ peabrains once in a while in giving ridiculous names to storms that hit the country. Probably the “S” in their agency acronym now stands for stupid. They could just have named them regularly, like Maria or Vicencio or any other sane names the Census could come up with. But no… they chose to be stupid themselves.
And the weather advisory came WAAAAYYYY too late. If they could just have came up with an earlier warning, the “THOUSANDS” in the headline could be shortened to “HUNDREDS”. Well, there goes. It’s like seeing a housefire, waiting 3 hours, and then calling the firemen soon after that time. The firemen comes, but the fire’s gone, so’s the house. The same principle applies to here.
I think PAGASA is the only agency in the country where the employees have a high percentage of misforecasting yet retain their jobs. I’m losing hope for this one too. But at least they have some percentages (about 40%), and I can’t rely on radio jocks for the weather, so PAGASA becomes a necessary bane. Not evil, just a bane.
Let’s see what we can disparage from here: The last tropical storm before DODONG was named… CHEDENG. CHEDENG what? Who named this again? Those “HOPE” assholes should really spank themselves for this.
Well, while I’m typing this it’s quite calm with a few showers. Those PAGASA peeps told us that we should expect heavy rains. So what now?
The flooding. Well, where the hell is the government last summer? Campaigning their shitty mugshots? Many sectors are knocking on the goverment’s door to fix the drainages in major vehicle thouroughfares in NCR while the summer’s still in, but NO. The government’s busy on traveling and campaigning and licking their balls, while ignoring these suggestions from concerned people. Now look at this pathetic set of lumps of cow dung they chose to vote. They’re washing their hands off this one too.
Best quote from the article: “This [pertaining to the flood control projects] is not something that the national government is not aware of. Some of these projects have a long gestation period,” [Exec. Sec. Eduardo] Ermita said.
So the government’s not also aware of this problem. Good luck, Philippines.
JOSH [Hartnett] TREATS FILM CREW TO LECHON
Now I’m insulted. Let me ask you this: What can $260 buy?
$260 = about Php 11,960 = about Y 23,925
Well, Josh Hartnett’s about to wrap up his scenic filming at Mt. Diwalwal for that $18M detective thriller “I Come With The Rain”, and asked locals what constituted a typical Filipino feast.
And a very hugantic asshole of a person told the unknowing Hollywood dork that a typical Filipino feast consisted of
BEER
and
LECHON (roast pig)
Gago (Stupid f**k). What an asshole. So Josh Hartnett whipped up 13 $20 bills and told the local to buy what he could on that money. So they blew it all on pigs and booze. Well, he asked specifically “typical Filipino feast”.
THAT IS NOT A TYPICAL FILIPINO FEAST.
You’re talking about high cholesterol and alcoholic content here. Did Josh Hartnett ask a local tambay-lasenggo (street drunkard) that question? I assume it, but on that answer by the local, I have 99% assurance now that the local Hartnett asked is a guy with San Miguel Beer running in his veins.
Last time a foreigner (George Bush) was here, he was treated to a REAL Filipino feast. And oh boy he did gorge on that one. Josh Hartnett, well, you’ve just lost $260 on a drunken bastard, and you’re leaving the country full of booze and cholesterol that can give a 50-year old a heart attack. And I just hope this article stays only in this country. If AP or Reuters pick this up, I can find many OFWs pissed off when they are regularly treated to lechon and beer when they have a feast.
Best quote from the article: “Everybody here is so nice… We have been working a lot and no time to hang out and the people here are so beautiful and so nice,” Hartnett added, as he was partying and hugging everyone around, until he called it a night at 11PM.
Oh boy, he’s drunk on this one.
[Sen. Francis] ESCUDERO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT “LIVID” MEANS
Define irony. That senator’s sharing the same chamber with the lady (Senator Santiago) who was the walking definition of “livid” for more than a decade, and still he doesn’t get it? I hope your alma mater doesn’t disown you.
I hope he doesn’t ask for more definitions, or else we should send him a electronic Berry with dictionaries. Of course the Berry would be a donation, or he could face graft charges.
Best quote from the article: “Forgive me but what is meant by ‘livid’?” – thru text by Sen. Escudero to a radio reporter
Better quote from the article: One radio reporter took a handy electronic dictionary and said livid was defined as “sexual desire”. (Apparently the reporter mistook “livid” for “libido”)
Fortune: MEXICAN UNSEATS GATES AS WORLD’S RICHEST
Well, the miracle of salsa burritos come in handy against Yankee hotdogs this time. With nearly $60 billion… Carlos Slim Helu overtakes the $58 mark of Bill Gates. * BG: Mexicans singing “La Bamba” *
Bill Gates held that title for at least a decade. Hehe. Mexicans, like Chinese, know the principle of saving money. But Billy’s wealth is declining due to very good causes. He has scholarships, charity institutions, foundations, relief aids, humanitarian groups and causes that will definitely need cash as gasoline. I don’t see many Mexicans having this generosity on their part. Dios mio.
Oh come on, look. That’s the face of the new Golden Buddha. The new model of Taco Bells. Another Rockefeller. His name includes “Slim”, yet he’s no thinner than Eminem.
But Slim’s more known for staving than spending. He’s wearing no Rolexes, just a plain plastic watch. At least he’s thrifty to some good point. But since there’s too many esse locos running amok to the US Border that the Border Patrol can’t control with Playboy magazines and Paris Hilton prison mugshots, Helu’s got more market in the US, fueled by Hispanic immigrants and border crossers and the whole lot of El Mexico. But well, market, nothing beats these two products: Windows, and virus/pop-ups/GoogleAds/spam/spyware.
Best quote from the article: “Gates is selling off his single greatest source of wealth, Microsoft stock, to fund his foundation, while Slim’s fortune is growing at a stunning clip. His net worth jumped $12 billion this year alone,” Fortune [magazine] said.
Let him eat burritos.
RP BANS BRITISH MEAT AFTER FOOD AND MOUTH [disease] OUTBREAK
Well, shipmates, we’re hitting another iceberg.
Apparently the government’s not satisfied with pissing China off after banning China-made toys, White Rabbit candies and confections, now they’re moving to English meat.
Well, I think it’s about time for payback too, after those travel advisories against Philippines. They have some legal reason: Abu Sayyaf. Now the RP has a legal reason too: disease.
A disease worse than kissing Prince Charles’ royal feet, F&M disease is usually detected on meat, either pigs or cows. And certainly we don’t want too many Filipinos whining like cows and pigs at health centers for medicine. So now we’re getting somewhere. Government should slow down on importing meat, as there are too many pigs in the country and too many poultry raisers to get meat from. Hell we don’t need Queen-approved meats, be it pork or beef.
I’m hoping that UK won’t ban our banana chips too.
Best quote from the article: The order, issued by Agriculture Secretary Arthur Yap, bans “the importation of FMD susceptible animals, their products and byproducts originating from the United Kingdom.”
I just hope Yap didn’t intend to generalize the word “byproducts”, or else he’ll mean we’re also importing English poo.
Could-be next RP targets: Russian vodka, Korean kimchi, Japanese sushi, Indian curry and German frankfurters.
VILLAR HITS BACK AT PING, SAYS OPPOSITION OUT TO UNSEAT HIM
Holy hell.
What the fuck are these senators doing in the Senate, anyway? Playing “Trip to Jerusalem”?
Sen. Manny Villar, the newly-crowned Barrel Man of the Senate, is now the newly-crowned King Paranoia. Apparently he’s constantly checking for backstabbers and legsweepers. And for that I’d call him a cautious sonofab—h.
Why did Villar align himself with these opposition no-balls all-shit senators in the first place, anyway? If he didn’t willingly kiss Erap’s ass in the first place, he wouldn’t be in the quicksand that he is in now. He can win as an independent anyway (look at Sen. Sharon-Husband) with his megabucks from prime estate. No, he did not. Instead he chose a path full of thorns.
Stop whining, Villar. You and your pointless incessant dogwhining. You chose a path with the devils, now suffer the flames. Opposition: definition. They are the opposition because they both want a piece of the Presient Gloria’s carcass, and also because they are against each other’s throats. Like how bandits hate fellow bandits. the same case with Villar and his partymates. Apparently his partymates view Villar as the biggest bandit. Once they take him down, they share the spoils and turns spanking Villar’s ass as red as the National Book Store’s official color.
Those baby Beelzebubs in the opposition are insatiable, they are bottomless political sexpots. Villar apparently thought that appointing a “male” to the Blue Ribbon Committee would placate the opposition. And again, no. You give them your hand, in turn they will want your whole arm.
Hell, even your former comrades are starting to hate you now. Senator Dick’s rubbing his pair of grudges against you.
And Lacson and Legarda should stop fanning flames. They look more guilty to me than the rest of the inmates on the New Bilibid prison.
Best quote from the article: “I have not heard such plans, but some senators are unhappy over what they call as ‘transactional politics’,” Legarda said in her text message.
Start working, you people in the Senate and that guy still in detentional limbo. Stop that political bulls–t, or else face the distinction of being called more horrendous names by the masses than Michael Jackson’s nicknames.
In relation to this topic, here’s another:
MIRIAM: DESIRE FOR PRESIDENCY A ‘CHRONIC DISEASE’ AMONG SENATORS
Now that’s a way horrific disease than F&MD. Again, reiterating that they (the SENATORS Miriam pertains to) are all bottomless political sexpots. Stop daydreaming, please. Do your friggin’ jobs first, then think about this again come 2010.
At least Miriam Santiago’s shedding some skin on this one.
I’ll be amused as to who the opposition would push for. Whoever they choose will be just a brainless puppet of Erap. ’nuff said.
*breathes heavily*
I’ll just rest these fingers for a while.
Well, personally for me, school still is a pain in the ass, and most workloads are still on my shoulders, so still, I’m a poor guy living on Red Bull.
But I’ll just have to endure this shit for a year or so. Then dive in the pool of job employment, and hopefully find a job.
Hehehe. So ciao for now.
Briathrail // Albert 2MNG 
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