On Makati (Philippines)
[penned May 14, 2007]
Well, at least Makati’s the complete reversal of Quezon City and Manila.
Just dig this for an example. Manila’s got the most stupid politicians. I mean, the Atienzas put up the LCD monitor screens and these falooshy clocks around the metropolis. They place the best street signs their teeny-weeny barrels can offer and has the best views for tourists to cover. But hey, I could slap their faces for this. They tolerate the most horrendous of campaign posters (it’s nearing May, and these are becoming one heck of a headache) even if it was January, they have the most traffic-prone road areas, they have the dingiest overpasses, the most shantiest road shelters, the most flood-prone of areas, and the likes of the most probable evidence of their incompetence. Heck, their testicles are probably horsefeed by now.
Point is, the officials of Manila place the least emphasis on being a “presentable” city. Goddamn Atienzas. Look, their slogan is “Buhayin ang Maynila”, which could either mean “Liven Up The City of Manila”, or “We’re Wasting Your Taxes”. If they didn’t buy those LCD screens and instead focused on re-asphalting Espana Roads (I actually call it the “Spanish Rocky Roads”, because the trip thru it is really a bumpy ride), demolishing the overpasses and creating new metal ones (see Quezon City’s new trend of overpasses), and habitual cleaning of the ones Atienza already have applied his “Beautification” (see Morayta for example), and keep applying his “Beautification” on the main city thoroughfares (heck, why Morayta is twenty times more presentable then the whole length of Espana), well, we have a true capital.
But currently, it is a shame. Our global recognition drops by 5% every time a foreigner sees Manila for the first time. Try Quiapo. It’s beautiful minus the vendors and the stench of urine. Try dropping a foreigner off Blumentritt. The only places I think are world-class in Manila is Intramuros, Rizal Park, and Baywalk. Other than that, it’s a dead-on bullshit.
Manilenos, take heed. The Atienzas, even if they smell good, look good with their Hawaiian attires, probably speak good, and kiss Manny Pacquiao’s ass every time he wins a boxing match, they actually stink as much as Quiapo. They divert most of their funds in some project that doesn’t stand too much, while the main thouroughfares aren’t consistent with looks. Morayta looks better than Espana, the roads near Manila City Hall look better than Taft, and the like. Lito has been elected for a 3-year mandate. Is this the best that he can do for 3 years? Or more than 3 years? Then, he’s no better off than congressmen or senators. There are so much he can do with his time, so much money flapping at his palms, and the worst is he doesn’t give a damn about it. He may probably land on every issue of the Tatler, but he’ll someday land on his hard lardy ass. It’s a sad fact that what they lack is more highlighted than what they have accomplished, but in terms of how long they have accomplished those accomplishments in their tenure and how they did them, that’s what it’s all about.
The end doesn’t justify the means. If beautifying these little spots means sacrificing the looks of your main thouroughfares, then the Atienzas have failed. Like putting beautiful gold rings in your finger then wearing a worn-out carpenter’s knitted gloves to hide them. If what they can only do in 3 years is some small-area projects, repainting, reinstalling of designs, decluttering sewages and beautifying minor roads, Manilenos, fear the worst for your taxes.
And hell, we go to another. Quezon City.
Well, Sonny Belmonte is doing a tremendous good job at turning Quezon City around for the better, since his predecessor screwed all of the Quezon City taxpayers straight up their asses for 3 years or more so. To hell with his “smile”.
It’s starting to be a good life again in Quezon City. There’s an upcoming beautification project near Quezon City hall involving an underpass complete with beautiful amenities. The main thoroughfares are getting decongested. Small community projects become full-fledged beautiful businesses (see near Luzon overpass), and Belmonte is just starting to flex his potentials. He’s good, testament to that is the lack of competition this May 2007 elections. He’s running virtually unopposed. But alas, he has TWO fatal flaws. One, there are loads of Belmontes running for positions in QC. It really sucks seeing these degenerative offshoots. Second…
…he’s getting screwed by no less than MMDA chairman, Bayani Fernando.
*Please forgive me for ranting… but it’s true.*
OK, so probably I’m the first to see this. There’s a bright side to it. The previous concrete overpasses are slowly getting replaced by metal, almost vendor-free overpasses. The only major flaw of the project is that there’s no roof to shield its users from the heat of summer and the rains of monsoon. Probably Bayani Fernando saw that the weight of the illegal vendor problem outweighs the weight of the problems of its users, but what the f**k. Just hire daily guards to whack the hell out of those vagabonds. Look, the government always, always extend their hand to these street vendors and give them a place where they can properly sell their wares, legally and safely. But what does most of these vendors do? They form unions, spit in the face of the government and sell their wares in illegal areas. There should be some measure to finally extinguish this problem. And these vendors should know better. And Bayani Fernando should put roofs in these contraptions. It’s like seeing a handsome guy singing a solo in the Carnegie Hall with his fly open. Or like a hamburger for breakfast (another Simonism). Some says that roofless overpasses deter crime. Well, what are the cops for? Sleeping in their precincts? Hell, assign their precincts near overpasses, for God’s sake. And at night, they should patrol these crime-prone areas. We have cops, and what MMDA is doing is making them virtually imprisoned in their own little cubbyhole precincts. And it won’t be long before the vendors buy their own umbrellas and start selling on the overpasses. Then Bayani Fernando has failed.
Another Bayani Fernando classic testicular fortitude example is his so-called “pink urinals”, which I think is an insult to the whole Filipino masculine world. I do not know what came into that nitwit sonofab**ch head of the MMDA when he installed these urinals. It’s like the classic “better mousetrap” cliche. But what Fernando did isn’t it. He’s actually encouraging urination on public areas! That’s one flaw. Another flaw is: it’s for males, and designed for males, designed by a person I do not know if he can still call himself a male. I once saw a woman trying to piss on that pink urinal. Luckily I saw it at night, or else we’d be seeing something more horrific than incestuous. Look, the Quezon City population isn’t covered by one gender only. We have a male, and a female. Hermaphrodites are out of the equation. Please, Bayani Fernando, if you had the gall in the first place to make a male urinal, then also make something for women! It isn’t just a one-gender world we live in. And the urinal should be in a private place, or at least slightly far (about 15 paces) from the roads and usual “sakayan” or populated areas, say like a concrete two-door place near a park or a gas station. It isn’t encoraging many men to make their dicks jump out of their pants in a public area. And besides, Fernando’s men aren’t even really cleaning those urinals. I just saw once that one of the MMDA’s “cleaning” people just sprayed water on the urinal much like firemen spray water at stupid rallying militant groups. It’s really sitomach-overturning, to say the least. It can even make your diarrhea attack stop in your intestines for at least 24 hours. Removing these long-standing, defaming pink urinals is a must.
And in addition, let me be frank: MMDA’s PINK FENCES SUCK. Probably the urinals are worse, but this is the worst. Look, Sonny Belmonte is beautifying Quezon City, and what the MMDA does is the complete opposite. They’re putting up these makeshift, cheap Taiwan-grade metal fences that should be labelled “EYESORES”. If Bayani Fernando wanted to decongest Quezon City, well first thing he should do is remove these stupid pink fences. These things have caused such a whole lot of traffic accidents since it was implemented, paving the way for countless dented cars, scratched car bodies, road mishaps, thousands of unadulterated cuss words, and additional poster areas for the politicians’ “dikit boys”. I mean, there are more better ways to ease traffic other than these unaesthetic pink fences. One, remove unnecessary stoplights, and repair those that malfunction. Heck, if you’re in a road waiting for the green light then it malfunctions and there’s no traffic enforcer nearby to be the traffic fixer, well, the asylum’s gone to the inmates. Provide ample people to be assigned to traffic-prone areas. One time I was in Ortigas, this helluva of a traffic took too long because the MMDA/traffic cops took too long to come to the place of the accident. The traffic was caused by two cars that bumped each other on the middle of the road, with the owners trading verbal brickbats at each other. And the place is a common traffic-prone area because it was near a mall. There’s no MMDA person in sight! What the f**k. After some time, some enforcers arrived and undid the mess. But the damage has been done, and I was late for my appointment. Another alternative to the pink fences: proper loading/unloading areas. If this place is labelled an UNLOADING AREA, nobody gets in, anybody goes out. If it says LOADING AREA, anybody goes in, nobody goes out. And, one more thing. IF THE PINK FENCES are not assigned for traffic, say near curbs or in the middle of the street or in public areas out of the road, well, can’t MMDA think of anything better than pink fences? oh come on, like some metal fencing with at least some aesthetic value. Like your frontyard metal fencing. Bayani Fernando has no sense of artistic values. See? His so-hyped “MMDA Art” is just a big pile of dog poo. That MMDA “Art” is an insult to the National Art Museum. And so is Fernando’s pink fences, pink urinals and unsheltered overpasses. He’s got the most fantastic of ideas, but the most stupendous of executions. And no wonder Quezon City isn’t getting that far enough. Belmonte’s pushing hard, but the fact is he’s not looking behind him to see who’s derailing his actions.
The ONLY good thing Bayani Fernando and the MMDA’s doing so far is removing the bastards'(politicians) posters out of the non-designated COMELEC poster areas. The COMELEC chairman should give the MMDA an award or something. I really like seeing the MMDA men removing the posters, streamers, plastic ads of these demasculated politicians around Metro Manila. It really is a great sight.
Makati… well, it’s like stepping into a new world. Binay did a good job with the main thoroughfares of Makati. It’s all business. Probably the only thing I have against Binay is the integration of the stupid “B” shaped logo on some of Makati’s public property that resembles two conjoined, deformed Chinese dumplings. The same with Quezon City’s so-abused letters “SB” and Manila’s twin trouble “ALI” and “mayniLA” (the two capital letters at the end were intentional).
Makati, even though not all of it is modernized, is the model city of the Philippines. It’s like RP’s version of Curitiba. Look, Ayala Avenue is the best in the country. Trees, shrubs, nice people walking, beautifully-dressed security guards, no dog poo on the streets, not much street vendors, escalators in underpasses, even the taho vendor sells his wares with a bonus plastic cup cover and spoon. You won’t see that service anywhere else. It’s an international-style type of display, not just because Binay spruced up the Makati life but because everybody there realized the meaning of the word “discipline”. The buses follow the rules. No overspeeding. There are proper loading/unloading areas. Minimal traffic violations. No swerving. Very minimal road mishaps. No smoke belchers. No jaywalkers. Nobody spits on the ground. Everybody throws garbage into the garbage chutes. It’s a very nice place to live in. Probably if I have enough money when I’m old and working, I’ll rent a unit in one of the condo buildings in Makati. It’s that nice. That’s what I call wise tax spending for Makati. If you’re a Makati businessman in Ayala Avenue paying taxes, you’re paying something that is worth every cent of it.
But sadly, I live in Quezon City. I commute to and spend more than 8 hours in UST, which is situated in Manila. Life sucks.
Briathrail // Albert 2MNG 
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